Blogmas 2021 | 12 Days of Christmas | Day 7

Dear World,

I don’t know about you, but finding some natural source of flowing water adds extra life and light to my life.

There’s magic in the sand, the swash and the backwash along a shore, the cascading river down a waterfall – the mist created at this beautiful scene, the mixture of warm and cold where a river meets the sea, witnessing life underwater and interacting with it.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been afraid of deep water and open water bodies. I’m not sure where this fear came from but it’s ever present and it is very real. I’m talking about hyperventilating-can’t breate-full blown bawling and screaming type of fear. Haha!

Knowing all of this, I gauge how often I interract with these places and how far I go when I actually get to these places. I do a full on risk assessment and either work myself up to embrace the nature in all its glory or I work myself up into a panic where I don’t do it.

As for me, water makes me feel as light as a feather most times, it also makes me feel airy, fluid, flexible and like a spec of sand – tiny and almost lost all while being part of the marvel of a fully natural white sand beach.

The feelings and descriptions may seem miniscule in comparison to more grandeur settings but, this is about me ‘heaux’. You’re just taking lessons here.

Though my fear and my desire to experience that which I fear in water have an oxymoronic relationship, there’s just something quite humbling and quieting when they agree and the sparks fly. I say this because I’m always reminded that I am small in size in a great big world – and also that my fears, though major for me, mean nothing to the rise and fall of the tides, the life under water or the depth and pressure of the sea.

Life happens regardless of my fears and, the big question is “Do you want to cower in fear your entire life or experience life despite what you feel?”

I guess this is what they mean when they say the greatest life experiences are on the other side of fear.

Alright. Time to wrap this up. Take from it what you will.

*These thoughts and experiences are my own and they’re not necessarily supported by any real empirical evidence. Great, glad to have gotten that out the way.

Signed with love,

The Suburban Girl JA