Love Letter #81 | Put them Under Curfew

Dear World,

The word ‘curfew’ has been thrown around so often that it’s no longer a novel situation for me.

For. Me.

We all get the general idea of what a curfew means and what it intends to do. However, when we misuse it or underenforce it, we face the consequences.

And, I’m no expert on curfews, but my observations since the incorporation of nation-wide curfews to curb the spread of the COVID-19 virus have shown that curfew times on a national level aren’t as strictly enforced which leads to them not being observed as expected.

I think that we shouldn’t count on curfews to be one of the main responses to curbing the spread of this virus. And, on the other hand, each person should be responsible enough to mind their health and the health of those around. However, those conditions are slated for a perfect world.

We live in an imperfect one.

I could continue and vent about the abuse of curfew times but I’d much rather apply the use of curfews to my life and the lessons that I’ve learned. Before I delve into class time, let me just say this:

How you may or may not adhere to the rules of an 8:00 pm to 5:00 am (the following day) nation-wide curfew, is an indication of how you’d operate for the proverbial curfews in your life or in the lives of those whose lives you impact.

Hear me out.

Let’s say you want to control the level of access folks have to you daily – you’d give them set timeframes in which they may contact you.

I’m considering that the proverbial curfew.

So, between the hours of 5:00 pm to 8:30 am (the following day), you purposely don’t accept calls related to work. Cause, if your job isn’t an ‘on-call’ job, why must you be constantly available?

Let’s say that you’re taking steps to reduce your social media time. You set goals and targets to help you cut back on how often you use those platforms. This is in a case where a ‘cold-turkey’ transition doesn’t work. You know, wean yourself off it.

Now, if you set these targets and goals and lack the self-discipline, you’re gonna fail. Nothing is wrong with failing, it’s the ‘how many times will you misuse or under enforce your own rules for self-satisfaction or to the pleasure of others?

I could continue but you get the idea.

Ask yourself this question:

What are you doing to effectively enforce the curfews in your life?

Lessons to learn in proverbial curfews

1. You reduce the time people have access to you and you have the opportunity to spend more time on yourself.

2. Respect the curfew times given to you by others. It says a lot about your character when you accept and respect the fact that your presence in some people’s lives doesn’t have to be at 100%.

Remember, relationships are dynamic, so a 50% active rate can be necessary at one point and at another time, the accepted active rate will be 80%.

3. Consistently enforce your curfew times and you will curb the levels of unwanted and toxic energy in your life. It’s guaranteed that you will flatten that curve. What toxic energy? What unwanted energy?

4. If you miss the mark on curfew times, it’s okay. The world will not end. You may face some consequences. Life goes on. Chances are you’ll have other opportunities to adhere to curfew hours and rules or to properly enforce them.

5. If you find that a curfew has been placed on you, don’t take it too personally. What you can do instead is to do what you must and build on those ‘curfewed relationships’.

Get to know more about yourself within those times. You’d be surprised at how much you can do with the newfound time on your hands.

So, what are you going to do with those curfew times?


The Suburban Girl


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