Dear World,
Define the word presumptuous.
presumptuous
/prɪˈzʌm(p)tʃʊəs/
adjective
(of a person or their behaviour) failing to observe the limits of what is permitted or appropriate.
I saw the first prompt for this month’s challenge and thought to myself, “How’d they know that I have more than one challenge right now?”. How presumptuous of the WordPress press team to assume that I have multiple challenges.
Perhaps that’s not quite the appropriate adjective to use. If you disagree, say so. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Actually, nah. Keep those thoughts to yourself.
Presumptuous or not, the awesome folks preparing the writing prompts aren’t wrong. I’m riddled with challenges, as I’m sure that you – the reader – also have your fair share.
However, I’m not entirely sure that I’m comfortable with sharing such vulnerabilities. My challenges in 2023 that have filtered in 2024 (yes, because that’s how chapters are written, they’re fluid and don’t come to an abrupt halt) was one of my most emotionally taxing years. In fact, in many instances, I felt like I was a featherweight in the ring with heavyweights not playing by the rules of sparring or fighting. Maaan, it actually felt like a brawl on countless occasions.
So, pardon me if I’m still raw from all that occurred. Hey! That could be seen as a challenge – ‘my hesitation to demonstrate vulnerability for people to see‘. With that perceived challenge, I guess one could posit that many more offshoot from the source.
So, I’m talking about being so crippled by self-doubt that I allow the miniscule minds and words of others to stunt my growth with fear of being placed in an uncomfortable and unjust spotlight. Following that, I find myself cowering in the shadows of being the support system for some… or many. You know, the “light yourself on fire to keep others warm” approach. It’s such a terrible approach to take because you NEVER come out being a beneficiary to that.
Funny. If you follow most of the content that I’ve written over the years, you’d see that these challenges, in a few ways, go against the general ethos of The Suburban Girl JA. But hey, life happens and knocks us down a few pegs many times. How we identify, face, and tackle such challenges is more important than us being “humbled.”
Also, how presumptuous of me to think that it’s in the best interest of everyone, including myself, that it’s okay to light myself on fire for others. How presumptuous of me to think that the miniscule minds, thoughts, and bodies of unworthy and cruel people should take up residency in my space.
Come on, lady! You know you deserve better. We gotta do some more self work.
That being said, I suppose another challenge I face is getting back to myself and also getting to a levelled up version of my current state. I will have to face many uncomfortable truths and situations, disappoint many, and be comfortable with issuing disappointments.
Now, I need to be clear. 2023 wasn’t a conolete shit show. It was exasperated by me overthinking as well as the actions before and after those thoughts. However, I also won and saw days of pure sunshine and blue skies. I unlocked forgotten and novel versions of myself worth celebrating.
I’m so happy to have had those experiences. The challenges to follow those wins and happy moments are good problems to have. So, how am I gonna seek more actual and proverbial prizes to win and claim? What will I do to unlock and keep he happy within myself?
I consider those to be challenges, too. Or am I still being presumptuous?
The lesson
Challenges aren’t always explicitly written, laid out, or stated. We sometimes need to ponder and consider our experiences before we can effectively pinpoint what our challenges in life are. After such a determination, we ought to have the mental fortitude to differentiate our opportunities. They may be masked as challenges. Additionally, multiple things can exist as true in one entity. So, be mindful that your challenges can also be opportunities and vice versa. They could also have a causal relationship.
Am I even making sense?! Perhaps that’s the self-doubt peeking. Who knows! Either way, those are my challenges. What are yours?
Signed in pensive thoughts,
The Suburban Girl JA
The Suburban Girl JA® 