Bloganuary Day 11

Dear World,

This topic of being bold and celebrating my Blackness is not new on this blog. I drop it here and there in as many posts (or what you know as letters) as I see fit.

Since I was prompted to write about being bold for the #Bloganuary series, here we go.

I grew up struggling with my complexion. This is not to say that I’ve tried to alter it. However, I did think about it. Why? Well, children are brutal and the adults who grow them are 10 times worse.

I recall being made fun of at various stages in my life because of my complexion and the scars that come with a growing girl with acne and hormones and food choices that revealed allergies through skin breakouts.

With those experiences, I developed some kind of fear of putting myself out there in the world because I was afraid of being made fun of – being told that it’s good to be a Black girl but it’s not so good because my complexion is too dark.

This has happened at all stages of my life. Folks in power would’ve directly or indirectly told me to have a seat in the back or to stand in the back or even to move out the frame because they didn’t think I was worthy enough.

Yes. It was debilitating.

I’m not sure at what point I decided to not allow the thoughts of others to determine what I do and how I do it. But, I’ve been doing me in all my Blackness – dark complexion and all.

Read more about my journey in this blog post entitled ‘Blackness’

Since my conscious effort to live boldly in my Blackness, despite all other negatively perceived factors, I have felt more like myself. I have been comfortable. I live boldly and I don’t apologise for it.

I also live boldly through the crown on my head. My locs are gorgeous to me. In addition to my complexion and facial features my hair hair makes me feel strong, beautiful and bold.

I have had good and bad interactions with people who have decided to weigh in on my physical appearance. The most hate I’ve received (apart from my complexion and scars) would have to be about my hair.

Not many people like the look of locs. That’s a them problem. There was one time in my life where an HR professional ragged on my hair and told me that it looked awful and that I wouldn’t make it far with hair like that. I was crushed for a solid two weeks or more because of the rhetoric coming from another Black woman wearing a poorly installed weave. On one hand, my sadness came from the fact that she was looking down on me for embracing part of my Blackness while she clearly adored the straight non kinky or coiled hair type. The other side was me reeling from how badly she dished on me and stepped on my spirit.

That feeling didn’t last too long. I give thanks for that.

Here’s another blog post highlighting my story as a Black girl – A ‘Confidently Insecure Black Girl’.

No one can come for me about my complexion, my hair or general appearance as a Black woman. Whatever issues they have reflects on them and has nothing to do with me.

So, now? Well, I traverse the world with my head held high as I continue to build on myself for me. I dress up because I want to look good for me. I share photos of me because I know I look good and I want to bless the world with my beauty. That’s it.

With all that’s said and done, I also lift up others, despite complexion, despite gender, despite sex, despite hair type, despite facial features and cultures. If I think you’re beautiful, handsome or gorgeous, I’m gonna tell you and I’m gonna tell others, too.

How about you? What do you consider to be living boldly? How do you live boldly? Let’s have a conversation!

Signed with emboldened love

The Suburban Girl JA