Making an ass of “u” and “me”

Bloganuary Day 9

Hey World,

I think donkeys are cute…most of the times. So, it’s a travesty that they’re connected to slight negative connotations such as “making an ass out of yourself” or “assuming and making an ass out of you and me”.

That being said, I’ve come to understand that I have an element of surprise about my demeanor and general set of characteristics. For the most part, I’m quiet and I rarely open my mouth to say anything to anyone. I often speak only when I have something important to say. Unfortunately, because I don’t speak when people want me to speak, I’m misunderstood. When I do speak, I’m still misunderstood.


The false assumption I’ve heard the most about me is that I have my life together and as a result, I act as if I’m better than other people.

Imagine that. Those assumptions and conclusions have been made about me based off what people see on the outside and what I allow them to see or hear.

I know that this type of situation is not specific or unique to me and my life. This happens often to many others. But hey, this is about me.

I remember while in high school (6th form/perhaps the equivalent to pre-university), a colleague ‘confessed’ to me that she didn’t like me cause I acted like I had my shit together. I acted like I was better than most because I didn’t talk to most of my classmates. In truth, I was going through PTSD after having been robbed and assaulted. My dad was living with and suffering from an aggressive colo-rectal cancer, my uncle was murdered and my grandad had recently passed away. I also suffered from self confidence issues and I even remember not wanting to be around anymore.

So, yeah. I was going through all of that but somehow, I gave the impression that life was great and because of that, people didn’t like me. Her comments didn’t even mean anything to me as I had too much on my mind to even think about what she felt about me.

Fast forward years later and I still get those types of confessions. People say I have my life together. The truth is, I don’t. I cry most days and most nights, I live with crippling anxiety, I fall into bouts of depression. Somehow though, I can put a ‘genuine’ smile on my face and present my best self.

Assumptions mislead

We fail to forget that people carry the weight of their world on their backs without people knowing. Right? There’s a meme I see quite often that says something like:

People carry their load and baggage well – well enough for you to not know what’s really going on.

So, we all go through struggles and that’s why we ought to be kind and understanding as much as possible. Otherwise, just leave people alone and try not misplace your thoughts and views just by what you see and hear through a grapevine.

Though no ass is being made of me, people sure do look and sound stupid when they confidently talk about me and my life as if they know me. Get it through your head, you don’t know me. I tell you what I want you to know. That doesn’t mean that we’re friends. Stop making assumptions and asinine statements.

Remember this when next you go about your days assuming you know people and their life’s story.

Signed with love and grace,

The Suburban Girl JA


5 Comments Add yours

  1. Godsent says:

    Well said. You were going through a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you❤. Yes, it was a rough time.


  2. Em says:

    I really enjoyed reading this. I’m sorry about the violence and the struggles that you’ve experienced. The essay shows how clearly you’ve retained grace, even in the face of unkindness and judgement. Blessings 💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Em. I appreciate your kind words.

      Liked by 1 person

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