34 before 34 | Nothing to lose: Tell your crush how you feel

Dear World,

Baring your soul to the person you’d like to ‘be more than acquaintances or friends with’ can be the most anxiety inducing and highly exhausting experience for your mind and body.

Well, I can’t speak for you, but that’s how it felt for me.

There’s a Jamaican expression that goes ‘…like a suck out bag juice’, and that’s what it was. The energy it takes to build that courage to tell someone how you feel about them in the hopes that they’ll feel the same can truly wear you out.

The experience can go in any of three possible directions: they feel the same and want to pursue something wholesome with you; they don’t like you like that; or they like you, but they’re not ready to take that step. Anyway you take it, you have absolutely nothing to lose by telling someone you like them.

It can either crush your spirits, leave you hopeful, or leave you with an improved relationship with this person.

On the matter of ‘crushed spirits’, I wonder if it’s called ‘having a crush’ because there’s the possibility that feelings might not be mutual? It could even be a situation where your expressed feelings may leave them flattered.

‘Flattered’ – that could pass as being synonymous to ‘crushed’, right? Who knows?

Anyways.

That was a roundabout way for me to say that I told someone how I felt about them. And, for someone who speaks well, writes decently, and exudes confidence (according to those who perceive me), it took EVERYTHING out of me to essentially say, “I like you. You feel the same about me? Yeah? Let’s try this out. No? Alright cool”. 😂

When I tell you EVERYTHING, I mean EVERYTHING. Haha!

Regardless.

I muscled up the courage and did it. The response was a pleasant surprise 😊.

You can relax, we’re not dating, exclusive, or whatever else type of description there is. We’re friends…or rather building our friendship.

The response was pleasantly surprising because the feeling is seemingly mutual. However, life and current situations wouldn’t be the best environment to build on. So, friendship it is.

It was a bit disappointing. However, I can’t be angry or sad about it. Closed mouths don’t get fed, and it seems like a solid friendship is on the horizons.

A downside is, of course, being friendzoned for the umpteenth time! Truth be told, I’m tired of being a friend. I’m tired of being that cool chick who rocks well with the guys. Like, I can be more than some dope guy’s friend, damnit 😂.

On the plus side, the best relationships come from solid friendships and the unlikliest friendships can sometimes be the best ones. So, anything is possible. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Jokes aside, a few lessons can be extracted from this.

Lessons in saying ‘I like you’

• If you don’t say it or explicitly show it, you will never know what can come out of it. Yes, the result may be unfavourable for you, but at least you’ll know where you stand. In the event that they’re on your level, a beautiful relationship may ensue.
• Consider it as a way of developing your self-expression skills. Clearly, I don’t expect that you’ll jump the gun for every single person you’re infatuated with. What I’m saying here is to carefully weigh pros and cons and ask yourself the critical questions that will help you determine if that leap is one worth taking. If the pros outweigh the cons, let them know how you feel. Believe it or not, this is solid confidence booster.
• Saying ‘I like you’ can help you to build that rubber ducky mentality. They may not like you or want to pursue anything at all with you. Are you gonna just curl up and die? Of course not. You may be bruised, but you’ll eventually get over it. Never let a disappointing outcome derail from future opportunities. Don’t give up on a relationship or vow to never share your feelings just because someone said they don’t like you like that.

What other lessons could be taken from such an experience? Have you ever told someone that you like them and would love to explore a relationship with them? How’d that go? If not, what’s holding you back?

If it’s fear, let go of that.

Signed,

The Suburban Girl JA