Ant Strength

Bloganuary Day 25.

Dear World,

The exact moments I feel strong are right after a good gut-wrenching, heart-breaking cry and going to bed because the urge to sleep away the pain seems like a better bet than dealing with then right away.. Those are among the moments when women are made to feel that they’re too emotional and too weak. Well, I disagree.

A few months after my maternal grandmother passed away, I asked some of my closest friends to tell me what they think my strengths and weaknesses were. One response left me jarred.

One of my friends said something to the effect of, “what if I told you that your strongest moments were an encapsulation of your weakest and most vulnerable moments?”.

Listen, I bawled my eyes out at the sweetness in that response.

He didn’t lie, though. Going through and embracing my weakest and most vulnerable moments for what they are is what makes me feel the strongest.

Taking my ass to therapy, delivering a remembrance speech at my grandmother’s funeral, seeing my dad in a coma and seeing my dad having passed away, enduring and emerging from emotional abuse from the grips of one time powerful bullies and many more have insighted my fears and vulnerable moments. They also made way for my strongest self to emerge.

Lifting and carrying more than my weight in burdens alone or with help shows the brute force strength of an ant. I relate to that on many levels. Part of me must behat ant.

I feel most strength in my moments of vulnerability. Trust me when I say that it takes so much mental and physical strength to pick yourself up off the proverbial floor or carpet and continue life. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. However, I manage to do it despite how I may be feeling

No diminishing of physically strong people who can left all these weights by any means, by the way. We ought to remember that even the strongest have extremely weak moments. Don’t let the external appearance fool you.

Signed with love,

The Suburban Girl JA

3 Comments Add yours

  1. cellyhikes says:

    Facts. It takes strength to make it through difficult times in life when you feel like giving up when you wonder…is this life even worth it? As you said… it takes strength to pick yourself up… and look towards a new day with faith and hope. To me, getting intouch with the spiritual part of your life helps regardless if you are Hindu, Muslim, Christian etc

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The sad part about it is that most people think it’s easy to pick yourself up and pull it together. It’s the hardest series of activities I’ve ever had to do and maintain. I also agree with the importance of being in touch with the spiritual part of our lives. It is imperative and it shouldn’t be partial to one’s religions or beliefs. We all need help and guidance – no matter what it may look like for us as individuals.

      Like

      1. cellyhikes says:

        Agreed! The pick yourself up sometimes doesn’t even always happen on the first try..ah..such is life 🙏

        Liked by 1 person

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