Bloganuary Day 19,

Dear World.

You know what puzzles my mind? It’s such a mystery to me how people find the audacity to tell me what I can and cannot wear, how I can and cannot speak, what I can do and what I can’t.

Sorry (not sorry). Who died and made you ruler of my thoughts, actions and decisions?

Yeah, you know exactly who and what I’m talking about. Of course you do! I’m talking about you, your uncle, aunty an ’em. I’m talking about your homie and your home girl. I’m talking about the publishers and editors for newspapers and magazines. Yes, all of you. Where did you find the audacity to be such a hard case?

Let me add some perspective. If a person goes out for a night out and somehow gets harmed by a perpetrator, the victim gets shamed because they shouldn’t have said this to someone offering unsolicited advances, they shouldn’t have worn that outfit, they shouldn’t have had that alcoholic beverage, they shouldn’t have stayed out so late, they should’ve had someone with them to protect them from possible assholes.

Uhm, hello?! Where’s the accountability for those who chose to inflict hurt? Ya’ll have some nerve.

What about you saying to the perps, “see other people and leave them alone”, “people can wear what they want and that is not an invitation for you to harass or physically harm someone just because it offends you or turns you on”. How about teaching boys and men, and women alike not to rape?

I’m considering going on a journey to find the place where y’all get the audacity. Like, do you pay for it? Is it being handed out for free? Is it in a place where all the misogynistic people live? What about in the land of rapists? What about in the homes of those who wake up and choose violence in deciding to sexually harass others? I really want to know.

That way, I can blow up the spot and infiltrate it with the audacity to empower all victims who were subjected to shame by your hands. When I find where y’all get the audacity, I will turn the blame on it’s rightful owners.

Show me the puzzle, send me on that hunt, give me the map. I want to find this audacity that you all have. I’ll pack my compass, my binoculars, my magnifying glass, my note pad, my camera, and caution tape. Such a mystery must be solved!

If you take nothing else from my quest to find the audacity, take this: do away with victim shaming and blaming. A victim never asks to be assaulted, attacked or killed. Check your perpetrators and hold them accountable. Stop channelling your energies in the wrong direction.

Great thanks.

For all victims of physical and sexual assault meted out by a perceived ‘powerful’ perpetrator, I am with you. For the loved ones of those who didn’t live to tell the tale, I am with you.

Signed with love,

The Suburban Girl JA