Build on your friendships and help to build yourself

Blogmas 2021 | 12 Days of Christmas | Day 5

Dear World,

Disclaimer, I’m big time tired and little time tipsy. Had a big drink in the day and had a few more in the evening. I’m mostly tired though. Anyways, I may make some sense in some parts of this post. In other sections, you may ask yourself “what the heck did she just say?”. Either way, make sure you pick up at least one good lesson from this.

Do you have friends who you’ve barely sat down with and had full blown conversations over lunch? Over breakfast? With a cup of tea? Over some mimosas or other drinks?

No? You need to – at least once.

Yes? Bravo! Keep at it.

The best conversations can come from those situations. Friendships that include sit downs and good food with good drinks tend to build stronger bonds. This has been my experience.

Though we live in a digital world where social media is king – it’s quite refreshing to catch up in person. Share a meal and learn more about people. The digital interface is nice and all – but, it takes away from an in-person laugh, a hug or even eye contact. The risk of buffering because of crappy internet is high, by the way. We all know this. The face-to-face/in-person vibe is in live and living colour. And! Most things are better when life and colour are involved anyway!

If you feel like there’s a gap in your life, I recommend a sit down and catch up with someone or some people who are dear to you. It’s even better when these folks have an energy that boosts your mood and it’s 10 times better when this is reciprocated. Sometimes this works with strangers as well. But, be careful, cause people have their motives.

Be willing to share with them and welcome feedback. This is regardless of if you ask feedback or not. Remember, people will judge you no matter what…because we all have our own opinions on the way the world operates. Most importantly, be ready to receive the offload from them as well. In as much as you have baggage to offload, they have similar struggles. Everyone has a story to tell!

For the past few months, I’ve been making a concerted effort to connect more with the people in my life. Some of them have been through the digital interface but they’ve led to the face-to-face that I’ve been talking about. There’s more work to do in terms of the people I need to catch up with but the point is, I’m making progress.

For the ones I’ve sat down with, shared a drink with, exchanged hugs with, had meaningful in-person eye contact types of conversations with:

– My anxiety had settled plenty because of them.

– My social skills have improved some. I mean, I’m still weird, I’ll forever be weird – but, I know much more about how to deal with personalities in real life. This may sound ridiculous because I should’ve already known how to do that. Let me tell you this…you’re never too young or too old to learn new and more effective ways of socializing and communicating. If you feel like you don’t need to socialize to learn how to treat with people, you’re heavily misguided. Anyways…you’re an adult so, it’s not for me to persuade you.

– Outside of the self-serving benefits that the in-person vibe gives, emotional intelligence and empathy are also strengthened. To have the physical connection with people, you can truly experience their life story by just listening to them. It doesn’t mean that you have to take up and completely absorb their baggage, but giving someone that listening ear, that reassuring touch those “I’m listening head nods” mean the world to people. They remember these seemingly small but major actions.

– OMG, the dress up moments! For me, getting ready to go out and connect with a friend or some friends has given me an extra boost these days. I find that when you look good, you feel good. And!… looking good around other good looking people creates an environment that you want to be in. In my experience, truly good looking people (inside and outside beauty) have the best conversations.

All I’m saying is, alter your priority engagement list and include the face-to-face check-ins and check-ups with your people. They need the link just as much as you do and they’re probably gonna be more grateful than you are for the connection. Relationshship building impacts your self development more than you realize.

Alright, that’s all. I’m stopping here on this matter. Drop your comments and share this post if it resonates with you.

*These thoughts are my own and they’re not necessarily supported by empirical evidence. Great, glad to have gotten that out the way.

Signed with love,

The Suburban Girl JA


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Girl….I agree! About two days ago or so….I found myself in the bathroom; just reflecting on this whole topic of friendships…..(I’m always reflecting anyways) but I find that for the decade long friendships I’m always the one reaching out for check up… Naturally me generally but. Being the one who does the checkups can be very draining and lonely at times!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with that! However, we have to think in the mindset that our friends and family and whomever we have relationships with may be struggling with an issue and they need us to reach out. And of course the ones who don’t usually reach out, should improve on that. It’s kind of a tricky line to walk on but we should make it a priority to check-up and check-in.

      Liked by 1 person

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