Phlegm laden saliva torpedoes attacking me.

Dear World,

I’ve been feeling a little flu-ish over the weekend. I’ve been medicating and topping up on my fluid intake, so I haven’t been feeling too bad. In, Suburbia, I learn that if I cough, I shouldn’t cough in my hands and then touch surfaces that others will touch. The same goes for sneezing. Every now and then I slip up because the coughing and sneezing come unexpected. Grant me a bligh deh. Nobody doh perfect. I know that. BUT, Suburbia teach it’s people to always be prepared and equipped with the necessary things when sickness comes around. A rag or tissue is necessary!  I would like to think that you, World, have taught your people the same or similar “rules” if you will.

Yesterday, I took a public bus. Remember I told you I haven’t been well. I was coughing a little. I was however following the rules given to me and taking my precautionary measures. I tried not to touch anyone or any shared surface with my hands. I was doing a good job and my coughing, for some reason or the other, stopped. Not that I was complaining or anything.

Not but 10 minutes after my coughing stopped, a lady at the front of the bus started coughing. This coughing wasn’t a “keep to self cough” type of cough. It was a “give every body in the bus my sickness phlegm laden cough” type of cough. I instantly started to twitch and my skin started to itch. There was no escape for me as the bus was air conditioned.

The coughing of person 1 subsided.

Another couple minutes later and the person behind me started to cough. I had an instant headache. The coughing of person 2 sounded like crazy saliva drops were being spewed like torpedoes aiming for the most vulnerable person (CANDICE K.)to attach themselves to and explode, spreading the illness. The coughing of person 2 was a “give Candice the phlegm and saliva torpedo laden sickness cough” type of coughing. World, I nearly died. I wanted to turn and give the person some of my tissue or hand towel to keep the torpedoes at bay. But I was afraid that as I turned, the phlegm laden saliva torpedoes would have exploded on me.  I stayed put and prayed for the journey to be over. I looked through the corner of my left eye and saw the person wiping their hands on their pants. You know what that means right? THEY DID NOT TAKE ANY PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE to keep their illness to themself.

Would you believe that there was a person 3 (sitting directly in front of me) and 4 (standing) who started to cough AND SNEEZE!? World, that’s when I literally broke out in hives. I felt like I should have had Dorothy’s red shoes. 

I just wanted to be home.

Can you imagine how I felt when person 4 started to execute their “infect the most vulnerable person on the bus coughing and sneezing” type of coughing and sneezing? He was one of 3 people standing in the bus and he looked like the tallest. SO in my mind, that meant he had more surface area to do his dirty deeds and release his saliva torpedoes. What annoyed me was that after he finished coughing and sneezing he took a rag from his bag, blew his nose and pressed to buzzer as he was reaching his stop. He literally left his germs and exited as he was finished. He did not think to sit and wallow in it a little (at least do that, kmt)

World, why did you not teach those people the rules of being sick in an enclosed public space? Times like these are when I truly feel your love for me. Really.

I watched all the coughing persons and mentally marked where they touched. As I reached my destination, I was even more careful in tying to to touch any surface as these people touched after the coughed and sneezed in their hands. Boy was I glad to have some amount of your polluted air, World. It was much more fresh that that recycled air in the bus.

I was being paranoid; with good reason I think. All of these sick folks not following the rules of being ill in public space. World, you need to educate these people!! At one point I decided in my mind that they were all a part of a league of sick fowls who targeted the bus I was on as their point of attack. “Lets infect the most vulnerable person on this bus” they all said.

Woe be unto me.

Signed with love,

Candice K.