Not so much laughing or cursing this time around. This one is about a friend.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
It’s been about a month since I last sent you my love. There isn’t much for me to apologize for by the way. I only made that statement to let you know how long I’ve been absent. So don’t go looking for me to say. “I’m sorry”, because I’m not. You don’t need to say you missed me, I know you did. I do however appreciate how much you have shown me that you’ve missed me. After all, a whole month without me expressing myself to you must have been torturous; all that silence.
I do however feel like I owe you an explanation as to why I’ve been absent.
A childhood friend of mine, Andy, died under very sad and devastating circumstances in January and I took it very hard. At one point I put some of the blame on myself. I felt the need to revert to introversion to get back to that place of peace within myself. The time away has been good.
Knowing that Andy isn’t physically here anymore tears me up inside and I miss him even more. Now that he is gone, my love and appreciation for him have grown. He was truly a remarkable individual; despite the troubles in his life, he always found the time to be as kind to every person that he interacted with.
‘Tis a bit cliche but you really should never regret not doing or saying anything to someone after they die. Appreciation should always be shown in life rather than in death. I knew there was so much more love and appreciation I could have shown him but for some reason or the other I didn’t do that and it’s pretty late now. For that I am sorry. I truly am.
In all honesty, I only remember good times with my friend. There was never a time that I witnessed him lose his cool and he was always plesant. He truly was a special person. In his absence, World, I’ve grown to appreciate him so much more. Now I use aspects of his personality and his life as reference for me to remember to keep calm and breathe. Life is too damn short!
I love you, World. I also appreciate you.
I shall write to you again sooner than you think.
Signed with love,