Anxiety… It’s never something easily explained, accepted nor approached. However, it comes from fear of the unknown, fear of possibilities, fear of failure, fear of that which has not yet happened… and might not even happen to be quite frank.
Fear… the thumping of your heart against the ribbed cages of your chest, that holding of your breath until you have to take that sudden gasp for air before you pass out. Fear can be irrational, I always joke about a person’s irrational fear of harmless creatures. I know I will get a lot of backlash from this, but think about it, what will happen if a lizard jumps on you? Like really? I remember, whilst growing up, my mother used to always call me to take lizards out of the bathtub because she was so crippled with fear, she could not shower unless the lizard was gone.
Just yesterday (November 6th) , I noticed my Canna Lily plants that I wanted for so long were being eaten by pests.
I was devastated. I inspected the leaves only to see tightly folded sections and when I opened the crease – what but a caterpillar, a worm??, I don’t even know what it was but – a PEST depriving my long sought after blooms from thriving and reaching their full potential once again.
What did I do? I have no fear for these critters. I picked them off and proceeded to search for similar folds and took them off one by one, put them on a rock and sprayed them all with some insect spray.
Wouldn’t it be so liberating if we could approach fear, better yet, anxiety like this? They’re the same, really.
**Googles fear and anxiety***
Fear is focused on something known whilst anxiety is less specific and directed towards something unknown.
To tackle anxiety, we have to take control of the things that we can handle.
A while back, I was up to my neck in debt as a result of some unfortunate circumstances and I stopped answering every unknown number for fear that it was the bank or student loan calling to ask me yet again for money that I did not have. I was feeling so overwhelmed that one day I went into the bank, spoke one on one with a representative about my position and we discussed viable options.
It was as simple as that! I just had to overcome my fear and anxiety. And then I was able to take small steps to find peace of mind.
It was not simple at all. This entire process took me about a year to realize. But my point is,
99% of the time, our fears are irrational and there is a way out. We just need to step away from the dark clouds.
Separate the facts from the imaginary ‘what ifs’ we conjure by the second that cause us to sink in a deep dark hole.
We have more power within ourselves than we take credit for!
I am by no means a Psychologist. I’m a simple human, just like you, who is manoeuvring these twists and turns, speed bumps and potholes on this journey called life.
I’ve lived with anxiety for basically all of my high school years and the little monster creeps up now and again in adulthood and I have had to find ways to cope.
Coping has led me to develop a pseudo-script for tackling fear and anxiety.
Tips for Tackling Fear and Managing Anxiety
Breathe. Not passively, but intentionally. Take deep breaths: in and out. Fill your lungs to the max then let it all out and repeat. It helps to calm your nerves, get some oxygen to your brain and prepare you for the next steps.
Cry. Or whatever method of release works for you. For some people, that’s running (or exercise), doing housework – whatever – but get rid of the pent up “energy”
Vent. You can write/journal if you like that sort of thing. Talk with a friend or someone you trust. It’s better if the individual is objective. However, you need to get your thoughts out of your mind and in the open. This will give you clarity and assist in the separation of irrational from actionable.
Plan. Sorry, you’re going to have to write one way or the other. When you write things down, they become tangible, they become real and you are forced to face them. Avoidance is NOT a solution.
Action. Hold yourself accountable to your plan. Make the goal big and bold. Then work your way back to the steps you need to take to achieve that goal. And, remember nothing is set in stone. You can always go back and revamp if something isn’t working the way it should. It also helps to have an accountability partner, so that even when you give up on yourself, it’s harder to let someone else down.
When I saw my Canna Lillies being eaten, I was so sad I could have cried – and given up – and just uprooted them all. I looked at them and…
1. Took a deep breath. Haha I was so hysterical I was like OMG “what is happening?!” and;
2. exclaimed, “Why?!”.
My son’s nanny was right there and I kept saying,
(3. vent) “look how long I search for these plants and now look what’s happening.”
I even posted a picture of it on my WhatsApp status.
4. (Plan) My goal was to stop whatever was eating them because they needed to strive and bloom to add to the beauty If my garden.
5. (Action) I decided that to do that, I needed to get rid of the source.
I went hands first, removed the annoying critters, sprayed them and went to the plant store to purchase insecticide to prevent the rascals from taking over my life! Ahem, I mean, my garden.
Notes on Contributor
She’s a trained nutritionist who cooks only with all-natural herbs and spices. Her passion is wholesome wellness in every sphere but more-so in the workplace.
Simeca is a go-getter and mommy to a beautiful baby boy.
Gardening adds to her peace and wonderfully written literary works solidify it.