Dear World, 

Exhausted 

I’m sick and tired of hearing,  “You’re not doing your best”. Really?  And you know my best is what now? 

The past two weeks or so have been a struggle. I have had a hard time finding the right words to say, the right actions to make and the right steps to take. This struggle has been a result of not doing my best or achieving the best, fear and the mental exhaustion that it brings. What does it even mean to be the best? 

Questioning

Having to worry about making the wrong choices to possibly achieve and attain stays at the forefront of my mind without end. Having to question myself for actions I’ve only played in my mind. Having to second guess every thought and every action externally expressed. All these wear me out. 

Overwhelmed by ‘best’

“Put your best face on and put your best foot forward” is a statement I hear far too often. How does a stranger to my mind know what my best face is?  How does a stranger to my life know which foot is the best foot to put forward?  ‘Wear your best outfit yet”. “Give me your best smile”. “Only your best is good enough”.”Whatever you do, do it to the best of your ability”. 
Best – schtmest… Leave me alone. 
World, are your people seriously telling me that only the worldly ideals of the  ‘best’ pieces of who I am contributes to me being the best me I can be? 

You probably said “yes”.

Well guess what

There have been and will continue to be moments in time when attempting to produce the best (whatever it might be) just won’t cut it. The picture that is often painted suggests that best is being at optimal levels and only that. That’s wrong. 

There’s nothing wrong with the word itself or even wanting the best. I feel that your people go about it the wrong way. Due to the misguided view of best, we pressure ourselves when we can’t get to where our best should take us. 

Realizations 

Best is the foundation on which the optimal is built. 

Best is all of who I am. Even in my exhaustion, the best of me shines through. After all, one can’t become their best by automatically being the best. Lots of work has to be put in – foundation. This hard work is inclusive of the struggle to do anything and facing fears. Becoming your best means being at your lowest point and getting up. No one foot is your best foot forward. Both feet have to take you where you need to go. 

Allow me to work on my best while not fitting into the worldly ideals of best. 

Struggles and all. 

You get the picture. 

Signed with the best love, 

Candice K.