I’m as deaf as a_________ | I hear folks say the blank should be “post” but it’s so boring. I shall therefore leave it as “a blank”. | I am as deaf as a blank. Shut up and deal with it.

Dear World,

I remember telling you that I would share another “handicap”of mine. So this is it. I am indeed deaf. The deafness though, is more terrible in one ear and not so terrible in the next. Pretty much like my eyes, extremely blind in one eye and not so extreme in the next | *insert giggle here*.

You know how your natives say once you lose the effectiveness of one sense then the others kick into high gear? Well my sight and hearing failed miserably at supporting that fact. I believe the more my eyesight deteriorates is the more my ears lose their function. In all honesty, I have no spectacular story to share as to why my ears malfunction the way that they do. I just know that If I’m being spoken to, chances are, I will ask your people and my people to repeat more than once.

The manner in which I ask for the repetition is dependent on who the person is. So if one of your very important natives attempts to say words that I am supposed to hear then I shall say on all occasions, “could you repeat that?” If the person is one of my Suburban counterparts I may very well say, “excuse me, what was that?” | and I’ll be holding on to my ear(s) to demonstrate that I did not hear. If it’s one of my Worldly friends or Suburban friends, I might say something like “run dat again, mi neva ere” and/or “repeat dat deh”. World, at this point you should notice that some amount of words are used when I ask for clarity. However, if a family member or a best friend says something to me and I did not hear a word they said, my response is this and only this. “eeaaahh?!”. To pronounce it, you simply utter the sound of the letter “A” in a high pitched and questioning tone of voice. It works every time. I kid you not!

So, my mother might say, “Candice, do this for me please” and if I don’t hear, then I say “eeaahh?!” and I will do it until I hear exactly what she says. Can you imagine how annoying that sound would get if my ears fail to work when it should?

lol.

Another thing about my deafness is that I can only hear whispers in my right ear. So, just like how I can see better with my right eye, I hear better with the right ear. I used to play Chinese Telephone when I was younger and I’d literally have to either create a whole new story to the game or turn my head the other way (if the “whisperer” was to my left ear). lol. Can you imagine? I know you can. Just envision me cooking up a story or saying “wait” then turning my head just so I could hear better.

When my friends at school would tell me secrets, I’d have to instruct them to say it in my right ear so that I could hear and if I couldn’t bother, I’d just pretend that I heard it. I’M NOT WICKED in putting on the pretense, I honestly couldn’t bother with giving instructions all the while.

World, I know many of your natives have been enlightened at this point. I’ve been deaf for a long time now and still, I’ve done well. So you and your natives do me a favour and look at me the same way. Do it out of the love you have for me. I’m begging you!

*this post was written using colloquial terminology. It was, in no way, written to make fun of or mock people from the deaf and hard of hearing community*

Thank you. 🙂

Signed with love,

Candice K.