Editor’s Note

I first crossed paths with Petulla Prendergast in 2012 when we joined a post-graduate programme at the University of the West Indies. We hit it off almost immediately as we weathered the storm of an advanced degree; complete with uncertainty, group meltdowns, and moments when the entire cohort wanted to either quit, revolt, or “wheel and come again.” It was a rollercoaster ride, but we made it through, and years later, we laugh about the experience while continuing to support each other.

Petulla is a mom to three beautiful young daughters and an adult stepdaughter, the wife of a husband who loves and supports her unconditionally. Beyond her personal roles, she is a counselling therapist on the path to licensure in Jamaica, a promising professional and a phenomenal human being.

As she navigates motherhood in this age of screens and constant connection, she’s reflecting deeply on what it means to parent intentionally without defaulting to practices that may no longer serve a new generation of children. In her work with clients who are also parents, these reflections often resonate, offering a bridge between personal insight and professional relevance.

So, dive in and learn what she thinks—and how she’s mindfully traversing this evolving road.

Though the messages written, edited, and shared by Suburban Guests may resonate with The Suburban Girl JA®, they are not our own and they do not necessarily reflect the thoughts and ideals we value.

Signed,

The Suburban Girl JA®

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“For many of us, our parenting approach to raising children is deeply rooted in the traditions we experienced while growing up”

A Contextualised Background to the Parenting Experience

It is often said that there’s no manual for parenting and that “there’s no one-size-fits-all” approach. Parenting is a journey of constant learning, adaptation, and growth. For many of us, our approach to raising children is deeply rooted in the traditions we experienced while growing up. Yet, today’s world, shaped by rapid technological and cultural change, requires a new kind of flexibility. The key is not to choose between traditional and modern parenting, but to thoughtfully balance both.

Growing up, I was raised with strong traditional values. My mother, a single parent, instilled in me the importance of honesty, good manners, respect for elders, and reverence for God. Although she didn’t attend church regularly, every Sunday we were dressed and sent off to Sunday School with our offerings. Respect for teachers was non-negotiable, and returning home with anything that didn’t belong to me was strictly forbidden and would be considered stealing; it had to be returned the very next day.

Our community played an active role in raising children. Adults looked out for each other’s children, and there was a strong sense of shared responsibility. Playtime was filled with outdoor games: dandy shandy, hopscotch, Chinese skip, and marbles.  Chipping marbles with my brothers was a big deal! I rode bicycles, played jax, watched shows like MacGyver and Knight Rider, and when the power went out, we would gather in the dark to listen to stories from our elders. Life was simple, and though I had little, I had fun, I had values, and I had connection. As a child, I treasured those memories and hoped to one day pass them on to my own children.  

Editor’s interjection: In Jamaican childhoods of the 80s and 90s (also in other eras), outdoor play wasn’t just for fun. It was a vibrant rite of passage. Games like dandy shandy; a fast, high-stakes throwing game often played mostly by girls, required quick reflexes and a healthy dose of courage with a paper-stuffed juice box as the ball. Hopscotch tested your balance and coordination as you hopped through chalked squares. Chinese skip involved jumping and twisting through a long loop of elastic bands, with the band raised higher after each successful round. Marbles (or “chipping marbles”) invited fierce backyard competition as kids flicked glass spheres to knock opponents’ marbles from chalked-out rings in the dirt. And then there was ‘jax’/jacks, often played on verandas or smooth floors, where players tossed a small ball and quickly scooped up a scatter of metal jacks with precision and flair. These games weren’t just entertainment. They were moments of bonding, competition, and culture, all unfolding in dusty yards and bustling lanes, often under the watchful eyes of elders who’d later gather us for stories when the power went out.

Now, as a Parent…

Now that I’m a mother of three young girls and an adult stepdaughter, I have found myself constantly navigating the tension between how I was raised and the demands of modern parenting. Balancing these two approaches is not easy, but it’s possible. I try to pass on the traditional values I was raised with, while also embracing the tools and methods of modern parenting. For instance, I noticed my children sometimes preferred texting me even when we were in the same house! I had to draw the line by not responding to those messages especially when it matters the most to have a connection, instead encouraging face-to-face conversations. When we go out for meals or spend quality time together as a family, we ask everyone to put their phones away so we can be fully present with each other.

Technology has changed nearly everything about how we live, work, and communicate, profoundly reshaping parenting. Gone are the days of snail mail and rotary phones. With one tap, messages can be sent across the world. Children today are digital natives, growing up with smartphones, tablets, and streaming platforms. While these tools offer opportunities for learning and creativity, they also present new challenges: screen addiction, reduced social interaction, and online safety risks, to name a few.

Caught between worlds

According to recent research, today’s children spend more than 7.5 hours daily engaged with media not including time spent multitasking across devices (Pyara Baby, 2024). In Jamaica, most households with school-aged children now have some form of internet access, primarily via mobile data. Yet the digital divide remains wide, with approximately 80% of children in low-income households lacking access to computer devices (Vision 2030 Jamaica, 2020).

As parents, my husband and I often find ourselves caught between two worlds. Still, we have allowed ourselves to be open and flexible, allowing our children to be so too, by constantly communicating with them. We were raised by parents who were more structured and less flexible. Our upbringing emphasised discipline, academic excellence, and limited exposure to media. By contrast, modern parenting tends to focus more on emotional intelligence, self-expression, and child-centred approaches. Many parents today seek additional support, such as nannies, relatives, or online parenting communities, and utilise technology as a tool to enhance their children’s development.

Traditional parenting reminds us of the importance of community, discipline, and shared responsibility. Modern parenting offers flexibility, innovation, and a greater focus on children’s emotional well-being. Both approaches have value. What matters is being intentional, knowing when to hold firm and when to adapt.

Editor’s interjection: For the past few Suburban Guest posts, I’ve included theories that correspond with the theme or topic my guests highlight. This is no exception. As Petulla and her husband navigate their experience of intentionally parenting their digital-aged children, a few theories come to mind. Here’s what we’ve come across.

One such theory is Transcendent Parenting (Lim, 2016), which explains how parenting now stretches beyond physical boundaries into virtual spaces. It’s especially relevant for older parents raising digital-native children. It ranges managing social media habits to navigating online school platforms and instant messaging where parents are called to lead not only in the home but in the constantly shifting digital landscape too. As Petulla reflects on encouraging more face-to-face interactions with her daughters instead of screen-based communication, this theory underscores the emotional and social labour of guiding children in both worlds.

Another helpful lens is Media Mediation Theory, which outlines how parents approach their children’s media use in three main ways: through setting limits, talking about content, and experiencing media together. Many Jamaican parents, particularly those who weren’t raised with this level of digital immersion, often default to restrictive methods, because that’s what they’re used to and haven’t really learned a “better” way. However, Petulla and her husband’s approach blends boundaries with openness, which aligns with research encouraging dialogue over shutdown.

Additionally, there’s the Digital Immigrant vs. Digital Native dynamics (Prensky, 2001) which reminds us that many older parents are still adjusting to the speed, language, and culture of online life. They’re the digital immigrants raising children fluent in the technology they themselves are still learning. This gap can create tension but also opportunity. Petulla and her husband show how being intentional, flexible, and willing to learn from their children fosters respect and mutual growth.

Realisations and Lessons to learn as Parents in a Tech-Driven World

In today’s fast-paced, tech-driven world, the role of a parent is more complex than ever. We must be guides, not just rule-makers. We must help our children navigate both the real and digital worlds with confidence and integrity. Research from the American Academy of Paediatrics (2016) and scholars like Valkenburg & Piotrowski (2017) emphasise the importance of modelling balanced media use and encouraging offline connections to support children’s development. Against this background, we have to familiarise ourselves with the various apps, educating ourselves while learning from our children.

Ultimately, balancing traditional and modern parenting is not about getting it perfect. It’s about remaining grounded in our values while staying open to new strategies that serve our families. It’s about choosing presence over perfection, connection over control, and wisdom over rigidity.

Parenting in this era demands flexibility, love, and a willingness to grow alongside our children. If we can embrace the strengths of both tradition and innovation, we will raise not only capable and confident children but also the kind of adults who value both their roots and their independence, thereby forging their own path. 

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