Dear World,

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Life is such a tragedy and laughter is how I cope with it. After all, why did creators ever think to make comedy and why is it that the saddest people I know are the funniest people? – Candice K. Stewart

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It’s funny that today’s prompt asks about what makes me laugh because someone said to me recently that they enjoy the pure and obvious release I get when I laugh. In fact, they say that I guffaw, but what other way is there to laugh? I hardly chuckle or snicker. I actually don’t consider those to be laughs. If it’s not the loud, belly bottom type, then it’s not laughing in my book.

But, to answer your question, I would say it depends on the circumstances. I laugh at silly things and silly people. If I find something or someone silly, I’m going to laugh. I also laugh at ridiculous things and people. Weirdly enough, a rather grave moment is also sometimes hilarious to me, and I will laugh. I laugh in retrospect, and I laugh in forethought. I have found myself turning tears into laughter because I grew tired of crying and I’ve also started out laughing and ended up crying.

What contributes to my laughing, though, is the fact that as much as I enjoy laughing alone, I enjoy a laugh exacerbated by friends and loved ones. There are a few people who will guffaw with me at the sight of the most ridiculous things. Sometimes, there’s no real trigger except that one person starts to laugh and the other will catch on until everyone is crying happy tears and gasping for air because we’re all laughing.

The funny, sad, and probably ironic thing about all this is that I love to laugh but I don’t do it a lot. Actually, as you may have seen in recent letters, sadness has been my generic go to. Well, you might not have noticed because I have a tendency to downplay sadness and hurt.

I’ve had many instances where I’ll tell myself that I wish I could talk to someone about a specific thing and then I’d run through a list of contacts to identify the “right” person, only the find out that no one would truly understand or even want to hear about the shitty day or experience I had. (This is what I tell myself, but I know that’s not true. I have people. I just don’t want to feel like a bother to them). I’d start out by laughing at the ridiculousness of that experience and then end up bawling my eyes out because how freaking sad is that?

That’s how life is though, right? Everything’s not always gonna be funny and not everything will always be for a sad moment, but you can always strike a balance between the two regardless of how sad or hilarious the moment is.

So, what makes me laugh? It’s the silly, the ridiculous, and the shared moments that remind me comedy and tragedy are simply two sides of the same coin, and I’m learning that it’s okay to explore them both together and independently of each other. I’m learning that it’s okay to laugh your heart’s and belly bottom’s full and then collapse into yourself at night. Don’t stay in the collapse, but it’s okay to experience that and lean into it.

To end, I’ll use a quote I came across from Sid Caesar that’s quite reminiscent of the words used to start this blog post:

If you have no tragedy, you have no comedy. Crying and laughing are the same emotion. If you laugh too hard, you cry. And vice versa. – Sid Caesar

Signed,

The Suburban Girl JA®