Dear World,

In more ways than one and over many blog posts, I have shared about loss, life and lessons learned. However, when I saw a recent daily prompt that asked the following, “what experiences in life helped you grow?”, I was moved to share.

This has also injected, in me, the drive to break yet another blog hiatus and hopefully stick to a more consistent flow of putting out my letters to the World.

I recently learned from a friend, Rachael MD, that a former colleague of hers passed away after a brief illness. She recalls that this, now deceased, colleague was among the very few who treated her well when others – including her supervisors – did not. Needless to say, my friend is heartbroken and has committed even more to continue living her life with greater gratitude and purpose.

In a WhatsApp message to me, she made the following statement:

The lesson in this is [to] live, doubt the doubt, change your mind as many times as needed, start over as many times as needed, and put you first. Life is freakishly uncertain and we just need to live while we’re alive. – RMD

Those words resonated with me because she’s right and that forces me to reflect on my own encounters with loss Each day we wake, we fuss over the insignificant miniscule things and forget to bask in the moment. We focus on the stress and not the million and one things that brought us joy before or after the stress and stressors. We fixate on losses we face and the beauty in what those losses will bring. It’s also not lost on me [pun intended] that the loss we face is nuanced and that there are countless times where loss – however it occurs – feels like the end of the world as we know it and sometimes is.

Much like many others, I have endured my fair share of loss personally and professionally. Some, I’ve played a hand in the outcome – like the time I quit a toxic and debilitating work environment with immediate effect, and others where I had no control – like the time my childhood was marred after being robbed and assaulted or the many times loved ones passed away suddenly or after extended periods of illness.

How has loss helped me?

I continue to learn not to sweat the small stuff. It’s quite simplistic and often easier said than done, but if it won’t matter in the next year or five, then it’s small. Loss has also shifted my mentality. After experiencing different traumas and loss, I’ve learned that fulfilling my dreams means more than the opinions of small-minded people who are too scared to dream my kind of dreams. I’ve relearned that perseverance is optimal in achieving goals and more.

Loss has been both a nasty wound and a teacher. Each experience, whether chosen or forced upon me, has carved out room for growth I might never have found otherwise. Walking away from toxic environments taught me the value of protecting my peace. Surviving personal trauma showed me the strength I carry even when I feel broken. Saying goodbye to loved ones reminded me that time is precious, and that love must be expressed while we still have the chance.

With my learnings, loss has helped me to:

1. Reframe priorities: If it won’t matter in five years, it doesn’t deserve five minutes of my peace.

2. Build resilience: Every setback has sharpened my perseverance. I’ve learned that dreams are worth chasing, even when others doubt them.

3. Embrace uncertainty: Loss reminds me that life is unpredictable, so I must live boldly, take risks, and start over as many times as needed.

4. Practice gratitude: Even in grief, I’ve found reasons to be thankful for the lessons, the memories, and the reminder to live fully.

Loss has not only taken things from me; it has given me clarity, courage, and conviction. It has taught me that endings often carry the seeds of beginnings, and that even in pain, there is purpose.

Quick lessons in loss

The point is, I have acknowledged that loss is inevitable. We lose by way of the choices we make and we lose by way of fate seemingly not being on our side. It doesn’t mean that we should stop living and not smell the flowers, or take that big risk to change our lives for the better.

Loss has taught me to live, not in spite of uncertainty, but because of it. It has stripped away illusions, sharpened my priorities, and reminded me that life is not measured by what we keep, but by how we live in the moments we have. So, yeaaah. I choose to live boldly, gratefully, and with the courage to start over as many times as it takes.

How has loss helped you?

Signed,

The Suburban Girl JA®

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?