Editor’s Note

Dear World,

Our next Suburban Guest is our very own creator and curator. Her name is Candice and she’s everything to us. Candice started this blog years ago as a means of getting thoughts out to share with strangers on the internet. It began as Love Letters from a Suburban Girl to the World and over time it became The Suburban Girl JA®. Her one true desire is to glean at least one lesson from every experience she writes about and to positively impact at least one reader.

We think she’s successfully done that and continues to do so. Though she rarely ever toots her own horn, Candice is a phenomenal human, and she just happens to be a great writer who continues to work on her craft. This, since she is not a complete pro at the King’s English Language, and she often struggles to grasp that people enjoy her writing.

With that said, we bring to you the poetic stylings of our creator and curator, Candice.

Though the messages written, edited, and shared by Suburban Guests may resonate with The Suburban Girl JA®, they are not our own and they do not necessarily reflect the thoughts and ideals we value. In this case, however, they are ours!

Signed,

The Suburban Girl JA®

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I think we agree that we live among others with the expectation that we’ll all be there for each other when we most need it. The sad reality, however, is that showing up for others isn’t always on our agenda and it’s not always on theirs. We even forget to show up for ourselves. I’ve come to this realisation more so this year than any other time and I’m slowly trying to find my way through the thoughts and feelings that this realisation brings.

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Echoes

Hi, Hello.

My name is Candice and I’m a writer and a communicator. I’m a daughter, a friend, a sister, cousin, a future wife, and an ever-blessed good gyal with promises of an amazing future. I lead a life of love and I lean into my sadness knowing that the dark and grey skies won’t last always. To some, I’m probably a villain – and that’s fine. To others, I’m a nobody. I guess that’s okay too. To me, I’m a beautiful creature of God and the Universe and I channel positive and celestial happenings while having foresight into the good, bad, and the ugly. I’m a lover girl. I’m an introvert. I’m a mentor, I’m…I’m….I’m….

Even with all these identities, I sometimes wonder – Can you hear me? Can you see me?

Hello? Hello?

Sometimes I wonder If I’m heard, seen, or understood in this life

Are my words connecting the right way and are they reaching the right eyes and ears?

What about hearts? Are my words penetrative enough to have a lasting positive impact?

Hello? Hello?

Sometimes I wonder if I matter to anyone, or if I matter enough

Am I just a random person who entered your life and left no impression?

Am I forgettable? Are our experiences memorable?

Will you tell others about what we did, said, and what you wish we didn’t?

….

Did I just hear someone say that I matter?

I’m not a random? I’m memorable? Am I?

Hello?!

Why aren’t you responding?

Am I talking to myself?

Why do I only hear a faint reverb of all I’ve said with nothing else in return?

Am I in a void, an empty space with soundproof endless walls?

You’re supposed to hear me and see me to acknowledge that I am here…that I matter…that I do make an impact…

I’m changing my approach. I won’t speak to you thinking you’ll respond. I’ll just keep to myself, because clearly, I must not matter.

Wait…

I don’t matter? I thought I did.

Hello?! Hello?!

If you don’t hear the words I’ve just said, does that mean you don’t hear when I cry at night?

What about when I scream into my pillow from emotional pain and dread?

I thought we lived among others to, in part, understand them and help them when you realise their screams are muffled.

Wait…

You wouldn’t have known about my cries or screams, or anguish. I do them in my little corner of the void.

You wouldn’t hear or see the words that I say and write because we’re all in our voided corners.

I also wouldn’t see or hear yours.

You said what?

You’ve been hearing a reverb from your end too?

Have we been talking and crying to ourselves?

Damn. Let’s step from our corners and meet somewhere in or near the middle.

Okay?

Hi. Hello.

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